Healing

I haven't written for a long time, I can't believe it's been 3 months. Summer just flew by and it never seemed like I made time to write. I have so much to tell and say but for the next while, I need to use my blog for me. I hope you don't mind. You are all so welcome to read it too, but please know I am writing these words for me. They won't come out perfect and polished, but they will help me to get through this.

Earlier this week we were excited to announce that we were expecting a new addition next spring. But yesterday we found out it wasn't meant to be. Our little angel just didn'r have what it needed to be able to make it to the outside world, so God decided to take her (I think it was a girl, but I don't know) back with him to heaven so that we could have a little guardian angel watching over us.

I have known people who have had miscarriages before and while I've felt for them, I don't think I've ever realized how much pain losing a baby, even as small as she was can cause. I hate thinking that it was only a little fetus. It was a baby. It did have a heart that beat and it did have hands and feet and I saw it's little body on the screen.

My heart hurts so much right now. I know that in time it will get better, I know that in time we will hopefully get pregnant again, but it doesn't help the hurt to go away.